If you are anything like any other divorced parent in the world, you would agree with the fact that it is sometimes hard to keep your cool. When life is stressful, when you're tired, when you're irritated, the hardest thing in the world is to have patience and tolerance for your children. If you are going through a divorce, you will probably find yourself flopping from one extreme to another.
One minute you are feeling guilty about the divorce and over indulging your children, and the next minute you are so overwhelmed with how much you have on your plate you seem to fly off the handle at any little thing. This is all very normal, but not productive. Stress can cause us to act in ways that don't make us proud. The first thing that you need to remember is that losing your temper with your children just makes the situation worse. Your children feel the pressure as well, and I'll just bet they misbehave more now than normally.
Take that deep breath, take a step backwards, look objectively at whatever caused you to lose your temper; you might decide it's no biggie. The trick is to take some time everyday to take a breath. In fact, take some deep breaths. It may seem like very generic advice, but it actually works. If you find yourself starting to lose it, walk away and breathe. Evaluate what is actually so terrible at the present moment.
More than likely, nothing can be as bad as all that. When you lose your cool, you end up feeling guilty, and that just ends up in a downward spiral on the road to other bad decisions regarding your children. You can really make a difference in your own life if you try to make it a daily goal to not yell. You will be able to think more clearly about what is going on and make better decisions. Discipline will also be more effective if you don't lose your cool. If you're divorced and times are tough, it's a challenge to keep your mind clear and focused; and if you lose your temper, you just make this worse.
Don't be one of those people. It's not good for either you or your children. Think clearly and emotion free. Be objective not subjective. What advice would you yourself give a friend that was going through the same situation that you are going through? You already have the answers; it's just hard to find them alone when your feelings are all stirred up.
Have confidence in yourself that you are able to handle what ever gets thrown your way and you will be better at keeping your cool.
Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
ARTICLES